The Werefox.

Lately in London it's become surprisingly warm. I know, who knew. Everyone back home is probably thinking how pleasant an English summer is since it can't possibly reach 104F in the blazing sun. But you're wrong, my friends. You are definitely taking your air conditioning for granted. It may not get as hot here, but stuff yourself into your cupboard sized room of your 3rd floor flat on a warm day and you'll probably start growing moss from your limbs like I have.

So what do we do about this predicament? Open the windows, just like we do back home sometimes. But there's something missing here... window screens. So in the day time I can expect a little bumble bee or two ["wasp wearing a stripey jumper" - heard that in an English film recently and can't get over it] and at night, moths, but that's not so bad. I'm not such a prissy gal. It's annoying, yes, but worse things happen than the occasional insect visitors.

Seriously, MUCH worse things. Last weekend I met my classmate Megan in Camden for a pitcher of Pimms & lemonade on a Friday afternoon. Delish. So we're chatting and Megan's like Omg, did you hear about those foxes and the baby twins? And I'm like, What?

So she goes on to tell me about that day's headline about a family whose babies were mauled in the night by a pair of foxes who got in through the open window. WHAT?!?!

I should explain that foxes are the equivalent of raccoons in Arkansas: they are the pests who get in your garbage and tear up your gardens, and you can get a pest control unit to come over and de-fox your yard. Yup.

So I'm appalled by this baby-eating-fox news, and Megan goes into more detail about the article and the parents' response. They're like, Well we're in a very difficult situation here, we either keep our windows closed during the night and simply boil, or we just have to keep a constant eye on the nursery while the babies are sleeping to make sure foxes don't come in. We have no other options. What ever will we do!

She's telling me this and I'm like Wow, that woman's right, what a pickle.

When Megan's like Um, OR they could just get window screens.

Oh yeah, duh. What a novel idea. That way everyone could get a good night's sleep, enjoy a nice breeze, and sleep soundly knowing that their babies are safe from trespassing foxes.

The next day I find myself chatting with George while he sets up the menagerie and I pick up the little fox pendant, not even thinking about my conversation with Megan from the night before. George is like Yeah, I don't think that's going to be such a big seller this weekend. I might need to put those away so we're not accused of being insensitive.

Naturally, I've blanked and ask what he means. He's like What, you didn't hear about the fox who crept through a window and mauled a set of twins?

And at that I let out a burst of giggles- I know, heartless! I wasn't laughing at the incident, I was just shocked that our entire window screen conversation over Pimms had escaped me. But of course, being a totally inappropriate time to laugh, I was deemed a heartless witch and then blamed for the attacks.

Look at her red tail! She turns into a fox at night and hunts children... she's a WEREFOX!

PS, I think the kids are fine, just a little scratched up. So I'm not acccttuuually so heartless. But I am a werefox.